I've been to the Moon

Okay Blogger, I know I have some explaining to do but bear with me (as if you haven't already enough). I have been gone, but I have not completely abandoned you. It's just life became really hectic, unbearable at times, since last semester and I did not want to do anything but crawl into a comfortable fetal position and sleep forever. It is true that life for a person can be very difficult, so a good friend makes clear in her art. It is difficult and too often I ignore my true feelings about the issues of my own life. It seems easier to ignore it and keep looking to the future. It is not possible though because every time I make art, I really am reflecting. It is an unconscious process though. Only later do I realize I was making art about my own problems, which does not comfort me in the way it probably should.

But that does not mean it is not a wonderful thing, to be an artist and have the ability to channel the difficulties of life in an artwork. How powerful an artist can be by doing so. The animation I created below encompasses so many of my unspoken feelings, mainly from last semester, but also where I am in life right now. I feel so connected to this man in the moon, whom was banished to the moon only because he was working on a day he should have been resting. It got me to thinking, what am I really chasing after? Why am I in school working so hard? Where am I trying to go in this life? If I do not sit down and reflect where I am, I too may be punished like the man in the moon. I may grow old and realize it was all for nothing really and I squandered so much of my life because I thought I would get ahead. And for what or who? Ask yourself these questions my friend. Not so easy right?

I wont end there though because we do not have complete control over our lives. Things happen and we can chose to face or run from them. Sometimes there is and never will be an answer. You just have to live. Even at 20, I am feeling this on a very intense level. And on that note, enjoy the animation and my little insight on life!

Fire, Dust, and the Man in the Moon from patrick anderson on Vimeo.

Doodling in the parlor

Every now and then, when I am really frustrated (which is often), I organize everything in my immediate environment, and then I usually feel better. Yesterday, I did just that, and while fumbling through old things I came across my old sketch book. It is no surprise that I found this drawing, which I sort of wish was an etching.

This is how I have been feeling these days. The stress of my commissioned painting (still in progress), getting prepared to go back to New York, finding an apartment (still in progress), and getting ready for next semester's workload. Agghhhh!!! My head should not be on my neck in this photo, but it is. I wonder if I am really ready for this thing called life. 

Ice sculpture

Sometimes I feel that I once lived in a fairy tale. Somehow, this feeling of nostalgia always finds its way into my artwork. I made this sculpture at the end of my last semester and nearly forgot it was collecting dust in a storage room. The process of making this sculpture was painful, and transporting it from New York to Chicago was even more painful. It's also not exactly complete. I initially planned to wire it and it would be functional. But now looking at it, I can't feel any other way than how I feel about most of the art I create. It's so beautiful to me, not because I created it, but because it now exists without all of my intentions and expectations. I planned for it to be one thing and it ended up being another. Not all art should necessarily be this way, but it is nice when it happens. 

I'm back! As of now, unfortunately, my camera is no longer working:( Hopefully that will change for my upcoming birthday.

The good news is that I am well into working on a painting I was commissioned to do for one of my mother's close friends. It is very large, and at the moment, my arms are very tired from reaching up to the canvas. Since she knows very little about painting, she gave me few restrictions. Her words exactly: "Paint something abstract, something treelike, with lots of intense colors". Although that is completely opposite of my usual drawn ornate Victorian interiors, I am happily working in her direction. I'm excited about it because I now feel life slowly breathing back into me. I wished for rest and relaxation over my summer and  I quickly became restless. I am now anxious to get back to New York and be overwhelmed by classes. Being stressed out seems to suit me.  

 I can't think of much else in my life, or much else I am capable of sharing but pictures will soon be on the way!!