Death and Kiki

There's a new exhibit at the Brooklyn museum showcasing Kiki Smith's latest work. I desperately want to see it but don't want to pay the admission fee. I am mesmerized by all things Kiki Smith. We go waaayy back, since I was a pre-teen. Interestingly enough her collection of work is about death and the perceptions of death and funeral rituals in our culture. I am currently taking a class that has covered this taboo topic. It is particularly shocking what happens to some deceased bodies and how severely obsessed and deranged some scientists and medical practitioners are about experimenting with dead bodies in the name of "educating the public". It's all too much for me! But before I get carried away with that,

I'll get back to Kiki.

Did I mention I love her work and really would like to see this show? Too bad so many of my friends are flakes and probably would not see it with me, not to mention I don't want to pay the admission fee. Huhhh what a life.... If you get the chance, see it for me and tell me it was as amazing as I thought it would be pretty please??

The July Of My Eye

Few of you know of my obsession with Miranda July, a very gifted and witty writer. Most of her work consists of short stories; very tender, highly sexual but romantic stories about awkward people who fall in and out of love. There are so many laugh out loud moments and it is hard for me not to read her over and over again. There is no getting around it, she's just exceptional and if I could, I would buy her a ginormous neon pink birthday cake that says You Are Way Too Cool For Your Own Good. Happy Birthday! So if you love her like me, wish her a very happy birthday today with me! She turns 36!

Letting go and Losing

Elizabeth Bishop, a great poet, says it brilliantly: "the art of losing is not hard to master". Sometimes, more often than not, I feel so lost in this world. I try hard to find a place, a real friend, comfort in everyday life, to be happy with my daily routine. I find myself lost; lost in conversations, in people, in vague feelings that overwhelm me.

What Elizabeth Bishop failed to mention is that losing almost always leads to some gaining. What can be gained from this, from these experiences, from this loss or suffering? I had a very insightful conversation about suffering in the world with a friend. It is all around us. It is a part of life. But so much is gained and learned from life's catastrophes, no matter how great or small. It could be losing something as small as a pair of gloves (which I did a week ago but now cannot afford a new pair until next week). Okay so I didn't gain much from losing the gloves but it did lead me to this thought.

Something similar happened this morning, a small loss in a way. I got up early to catch the school's shuttle bus but somehow waiting longer than I needed to, I looked down the window to watch it drive away. I gulped at first, but then I thought about the next thing to do. I was no longer anxious. It became a good and effortless morning afterwards. I wish I could view everything that happens horribly in my life this way. Somehow for it to be easier to accept when things are not going the way I want them to. It is so much easier said than done. But look at Bishop! She lost both parents, grandparents that raised her, and many lovers! She was so strong. She helps me believe that even in moments like those, there is something to believe in, even if only acceptance of the situation. So believe! And enjoy my animation!

The art of losing from patrick anderson on Vimeo.

I've been to the Moon

Okay Blogger, I know I have some explaining to do but bear with me (as if you haven't already enough). I have been gone, but I have not completely abandoned you. It's just life became really hectic, unbearable at times, since last semester and I did not want to do anything but crawl into a comfortable fetal position and sleep forever. It is true that life for a person can be very difficult, so a good friend makes clear in her art. It is difficult and too often I ignore my true feelings about the issues of my own life. It seems easier to ignore it and keep looking to the future. It is not possible though because every time I make art, I really am reflecting. It is an unconscious process though. Only later do I realize I was making art about my own problems, which does not comfort me in the way it probably should.

But that does not mean it is not a wonderful thing, to be an artist and have the ability to channel the difficulties of life in an artwork. How powerful an artist can be by doing so. The animation I created below encompasses so many of my unspoken feelings, mainly from last semester, but also where I am in life right now. I feel so connected to this man in the moon, whom was banished to the moon only because he was working on a day he should have been resting. It got me to thinking, what am I really chasing after? Why am I in school working so hard? Where am I trying to go in this life? If I do not sit down and reflect where I am, I too may be punished like the man in the moon. I may grow old and realize it was all for nothing really and I squandered so much of my life because I thought I would get ahead. And for what or who? Ask yourself these questions my friend. Not so easy right?

I wont end there though because we do not have complete control over our lives. Things happen and we can chose to face or run from them. Sometimes there is and never will be an answer. You just have to live. Even at 20, I am feeling this on a very intense level. And on that note, enjoy the animation and my little insight on life!

Fire, Dust, and the Man in the Moon from patrick anderson on Vimeo.

Doodling in the parlor

Every now and then, when I am really frustrated (which is often), I organize everything in my immediate environment, and then I usually feel better. Yesterday, I did just that, and while fumbling through old things I came across my old sketch book. It is no surprise that I found this drawing, which I sort of wish was an etching.